Me in a joincloth, with Jay in jorts.

We had a family jorting in the north woods of Minnesota a few weeks ago.

Glad my man is feeling good and cancer free baby!!!

Brent and Johanna Gardner, you are extremely rad people…

AND THAT MEANS YOU GET AN EXTREMELY RAD JORTING!!!

The first ever jorting from a newborn baby boy. Sure, he’s unable to make his own decisions…but he’s my boy, and that means he’s good with it:)

Aunt Judith, thanks so much for your donation!

You have the distinct honor of being jorted with a very, very, very new baby boy who is also sporting tight denim (JIAPERS).

Teach the children well:)

Shari and Susan, what can I say…

Every time I held your card up, folks got excited.

Thanks so much!!!

Isn’t this what the kids call “dumps like a truck” ?

You gotta admit, those back pockets look pretty realistic.

Chicks who rock the rink seem to dig on dudes in tight clothes.

Shari and Susan, thanks to your donation I now have a skating partner:)

Charlie, you’re family…

That means you get jorts whenever you want ‘em :)

Thanks so much!!!

Gene, this is your rated G thank you.

One of the ladies in the picture actually said, “I wonder why they call him ‘Mean Gene’” in a Jim Gaffigan sort of “Hot Pockets” way:)

Woohoo Gene!!!

Joe Gray, I can’t thank you enough. Will silver body paint, suffocating jean shorts, and a beautiful ocean view suffice? :) Thanks Chicago buddy, you’re the best!!!

Carol, thanks so much for your donation!

There are now dozens of parents using me as an example for teaching “stranger danger” to their children.